Bulletin Misprints

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.
(Summer, 2007 Release)

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus.'

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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in therecreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

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Ladies, don'tforget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worthkeeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to aconflict.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someonewho is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nurserydownstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the helpthey can get.

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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir willsing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church.So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of severalnew members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased personyou want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of theChurch have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in thebasement on Friday afternoon.

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This eveningat 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies areinvited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lendhim their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use theback door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Churchbasement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Pleaseuse the large double doors at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign sloganlast Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'